Calming down...

So I had a bit of a rough patch this afternoon, but after reading a few of my favorite blogs, like that one and this one, and laughing a few of those really good belly laughs, I feel a lot better.

I guess it's true... laughter is the best medicine.. followed by large doses of knitting.

Can't talk right now...

I'm too busy laughing...

A knitting we shall go!

Ahhh... My needles, they over flow...

My camera, it doth not. I need to get a replacement card reader, but instead, imagine two lovely baby sweaters in a smooth as a baby's but organic color grown cotton growing from my needles... Calmness, restored.


P.S. Happy Birthday Jen!

Happy May Birthdays!!

So, looking over my blog this morning I realized that I needed to send out a great big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my family.

So...

To my big brother Scott - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAN! I am so glad that you have found a good place to be, and have found some happiness in what I know was a long, long, long, few years. I'll call soon - LOVE YOU!

To my little brother and sister - HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Somehow, it is wrong that you two are already 32. I can't be that old yet, so you two DEFINITELY can't. Stop. Right now. Oh, and have fun you two! Love you, and Happy Cinco De Mayo!

To my son, who I already sent a happy Birthday to, but since this is an official post, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDON! You are an amazing boy, and I am so proud to be your mother. I love you!

And to my father, who has yet to reach middle age at 68 (next week). HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And many, many more to come. I hope that you and mom can enjoy some peace and quiet for a while.

And to my best friend (a little early)... I love you lady. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I have got to get myself to the east coast sometime before we both go gray... or am I too late already?

Love to everyone on your special days, and know that I'm thinking of you, even if I suck at phone calls.

Ahhh....

The bittersweet joy of victory. My house (most of it) is clean. Half way through a new audiobook I have clean dishes, (mostly) clean floors, laundry that is washed, folded and put away (or in the the process of being washed, folded and put away) and I am keeping the tide of toys at bay for the moment. The joy at having a clean house for my family to come celebrate Brandon's 9th birthday with us was palpable. The bittersweet is that so much of it is never ending. And yet, I have the beginnings of a fantasy about a clean and organized bedroom, and toys that are neatly organized, in bins... well. We'll see how it all works out.

For now, I'm just looking forward to seeing my husband relax in a clean house, and not have to worry about whether he will have clean underwear tomorrow. I once read somewhere that nothing says I love you like clean underwear....

A home by any other name....

My house has always been, shall we say, lived in. I have never been a domestic diva of the type that could pull off the kind of house that Vanity Fair would want to photograph. To be perfectly honest, I have the kind of house that you need to watch where you step, and ask if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean as you scour the house in search of a spoon with which to eat breakfast. This had never bothered me in my footloose and fancy free days as a young single woman. Probably because I had no one but myself to please. Over the years I have enjoyed both clean and dirty floors. I have known the pleasure of a clean house, and I have known the shame of a dirty one. I have been motivated to clean many times. But some how it just never sticks. I have never figured out why I can't seem to do this really simple task. It is not as if I don't know how. It's not rocket science. It's not complex equations. It is simple repetitive tasks that any human being with half a brain should be able to do. And I can do it.

That is when I had my most recent epiphany. It is not that I can't do it. I even start often. I procrastinate more. It is that the tasks are so mind bogglingly boring that they make me want to lie down in a half swept pile of dirt and cry. I would be able to do it if it was complex equations because that would at least hold my interest for more than 30 seconds. And yet day after day, I stare down the uncomprehendingly dull task of washing dishes, folding clothes, and sweeping floors. I think I would rather gag on a filth encrusted spoon. Well, not really. But I would rather wash the spoon, and then gag on it. One spoon only takes about 5 seconds. That is within my 30 second time span before I start looking for something to maim.

Sigh. So, how do you combat extreme boredom in the name of marital bliss, and a home that won't offend child services delicate sensibilites? How? Please... someone throw me a bone. I'm dying here, and I have to get the house clean by Sunday - with numerous things to do in between. I'll give you my undying gratitude! My 7th child!

I think I may be lost...

An over due phone call...

You know how when you used to be close with someone but you haven't talked to them in a long while, and suddenly you get a call out of the blue, you don't know what to say? How do you catch them up on the daily hum drum of life without sounding like a broken record? It has been so long since I blogged that I kind of feel like that. I feel like I should catch you up, but there is so little of consequence... and yet there are a few really big things.

My husband has a job, but we don't know for how long, and they haven't been paying him for all the hours he's been working. And he has been working a lot. Most days he leaves before I get up in the morning to get the kids ready for school, and he gets back just as I finish getting them ready for bed. The kids have been staying up late just to see him. The other day, I told Liam he ask Daddy when he got home and Liam said "Daddy's coming HOME tonight!" I felt so badly - both for him and for Javier. It was one of the things we both liked best about him working nights. He always got to see the kids. And if there was ever a problem he was home. But ultimately I am more than grateful for the fact that he has a job, no matter how crappy the hours or the work conditions, and I am trying hard to make home a place that he wants to be when he actually has the time to be there. It is also making me very reluctant to leave the house when he is home. I miss my husband. A lot.

I am doing contract knitting. I have set up an email, and have cards and what not, but now I need to build a web page. Any offers for help? Apparently people need to see what I knit, and they want to see it online. Not that I blame them, but for some reason I am having difficulty getting everything together for this. It would be a really good thing to have some real income from this. I did just finish a couple of baby blankets, which were really wonderful, and brought in enough to get my daughter a booster seat. She is almost four, and was more than ready to get out of her "baby" car seat. I have pictures of the blankets, but I can't seem to find the card reader for my camera. Sigh. Must add that to my to do list.

Brandon, my bouncing baby boy is turning 9 at the end of this week. I can hardly believe that he has grown so big so fast. I miss his bubbly baby giggle, and the bouncing little dance he used to do when he was 2. But he still has the biggest, most soulful brown eyes. I'm having trouble with the idea that he is going to have his last single digit birthday in 5 days. I think I'm more aware of the turning of the years because I don't have an infant at my breast this year. It seems strange somehow, but I'm not planning another. That makes me a little sad too...

And finally, hearing of couples that have split, or worse a beloved spouse passing, I find that I am more than grateful for my family. I look at my husband and am grateful for his love and his constant support in a whole new way. I know that I can weather an storm with him by my side. No matter what happens with his work, no matter where we end up in this world, if we can do it together, we will be alright.