My house has always been, shall we say, lived in. I have never been a domestic diva of the type that could pull off the kind of house that Vanity Fair would want to photograph. To be perfectly honest, I have the kind of house that you need to watch where you step, and ask if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean as you scour the house in search of a spoon with which to eat breakfast. This had never bothered me in my footloose and fancy free days as a young single woman. Probably because I had no one but myself to please. Over the years I have enjoyed both clean and dirty floors. I have known the pleasure of a clean house, and I have known the shame of a dirty one. I have been motivated to clean many times. But some how it just never sticks. I have never figured out why I can't seem to do this really simple task. It is not as if I don't know how. It's not rocket science. It's not complex equations. It is simple repetitive tasks that any human being with half a brain should be able to do. And I can do it.
That is when I had my most recent epiphany. It is not that I can't do it. I even start often. I procrastinate more. It is that the tasks are so mind bogglingly boring that they make me want to lie down in a half swept pile of dirt and cry. I would be able to do it if it was complex equations because that would at least hold my interest for more than 30 seconds. And yet day after day, I stare down the uncomprehendingly dull task of washing dishes, folding clothes, and sweeping floors. I think I would rather gag on a filth encrusted spoon. Well, not really. But I would rather wash the spoon, and then gag on it. One spoon only takes about 5 seconds. That is within my 30 second time span before I start looking for something to maim.
Sigh. So, how do you combat extreme boredom in the name of marital bliss, and a home that won't offend child services delicate sensibilites? How? Please... someone throw me a bone. I'm dying here, and I have to get the house clean by Sunday - with numerous things to do in between. I'll give you my undying gratitude! My 7th child!
I think I may be lost...